Category: Uncategorized
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My Family Court Experience
As many of you know, I share an 18-year-old son with my abusive, narcissistic ex. Our history is filled with pain and trauma, and it all came to a head when I was arrested for GBH with intent after defending myself from enduring another attack. Following my arrest, my son was initially taken in by…
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Narcissistic Grooming.
Subtle Manipulation: Narcissistic grooming typically begins with subtle forms of manipulation. The narcissist may initially overwhelm you with attention, flattery, and apparent affection, which creates a false sense of trust and dependency. Gaslighting: One of the key tactics used in narcissistic grooming is gaslighting. The narcissist will distort your reality, causing you to doubt your…
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Understanding the Overlap Between ASPD and Bipolar Disorder.
Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) and Bipolar Disorder are distinct mental health conditions, but they share some overlapping features that can make diagnosis and treatment complex. Understanding these overlaps is crucial for accurate diagnosis and effective management. 1. Impulsivity One of the most significant overlaps between ASPD and Bipolar Disorder is impulsivity. People with ASPD often…
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Bipolar Rage.
Anyone with bipolar disorder struggles to contain their emotions, a challenge often referred to as “bipolar rage.” While everyone experiences outbursts as part of being human, those with bipolar disorder often lack impulse control, leading to more frequent and public displays of emotion. It’s important not to judge these outbursts, as individuals with bipolar disorder…
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Bipolar Impulse Purchases.
Having bipolar disorder means we often lack impulse control, especially when it comes to spending money. During a hypomanic state, we might find ourselves reaching for the phone to make online purchases. Often, we get inspired by a business idea, and before we know it, supplies for the next grand project are arriving at our…
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Sociopath?
Am I a sociopath? I would argue not, although I do not shy away from my diagnosis. I have been very transparent about it, yet the more I learn, the more I question its accuracy. Narcissism and sociopathy often fall under the same category and are frequently intertwined. However, I find it hard to believe…
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Speaking My Truth.
I knew discussing my truth would spark controversy. I may come across as somewhat nonchalant, but when you’ve known nothing but trauma, you develop a thick skin and see no other option but to press on. My past has likely contributed to my mental illness diagnosis, but I want people to know that I’m doing…
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Grief.
Grief is such a sadness man. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I lost my biological father when I was 13. He took a fatal overdose, and my grandmother found him. I can’t fathom what it must be like to find your own son dead. We weren’t on speaking terms when he passed, a…
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Paranoia & Bipolar.
Paranoia is a significant part of my daily struggle with mental health. During hypomanic episodes, paranoia is nonexistent. However, these episodes are often short-lived, leaving me to face weeks of self-doubt, shame, and paranoia. I frequently think everyone is talking about me and that the other school mums find me weird. I notice that people…
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My Abusive Ex.
Recently, a woman reached out to me through my blog, sharing that she too had suffered at the hands of my ex. All I want is to live my life and forget about this man, but for 15 years, he has dragged me through every court case involving his latest spouse. Despite presenting evidence of…
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Prison (part two)
An officer arrived at A wing to transfer me to C wing, a protection unit housing vulnerable inmates, child abusers, and pregnant women. I have no idea why they would place child abusers alongside pregnant women. I cleaned my cell and tried to settle in. A few nights later, water began flooding my cell because…
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Looking Back.
As you probably know I’ve appeared on a few podcasts recently, the main one being with Shaun Attwood, a leading crime podcaster in the UK with over 900,000 subscribers. Reflecting on my childhood during these recordings has been quite emotional. While I can laugh and joke about some parts of my past, it feels strange…
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Speaking out about Sexual Assault (SA)
I’ve noticed that some people expect me to take certain positions or join certain movements in how I speak out about my own experiences with sexual assault. But I’ve come to realise that there are some aspects of this conversation I can’t support. First, I won’t contribute to a culture that views men as inherently…
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Mental Health isn’t a Buzzword.
Mental health isn’t a buzzword. I’m so sick of hearing people say, “back in my day you’d just get on with it.” The person saying that is usually a massive fucking dickhead who, clearly would have benefited from counselling growing up and probably wouldn’t be the massive DICK they are today. Hopefully, your story to…
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Numerology Basics.
The day you were born carries a unique vibration that contributes to your personality. 1: Represents male energy. If you were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, or 28th, you are in touch with your masculinity. 2: Represents female energy. If you were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, or 29th, you are in touch…
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Giving Birth in Prison.
While awaiting trial for grievous bodily harm with intent, I entered into a new relationship. Although the timing was far from ideal, I unexpectedly became pregnant. In a state of panic, I called my solicitor to ask whether I would be forced to terminate the pregnancy. She explained that some female prisons in the UK…
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Abuse Of Power: My Ordeal With A Prison Officer.
If you’ve been following my blog, you know that I spent some time in prison. I acknowledge my wrongdoings and accept my punishment. While at HMP Peterborough, I intended to use my time constructively by taking every possible course to improve myself as a parent and person. However, my experience was marred by a coercive…
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Domestic Abusers.
Domestic abusers often move from place to place to avoid detection, prosecution, and accountability for their actions. Several factors contribute to this behaviour: 1. Avoiding The Law : By moving frequently, abusers can evade law enforcement that may be pursuing charges against them. Different jurisdictions may not be aware of their past offences, making it…
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Self-Loathing in Bipolar Depression.
Living with bipolar disorder often means grappling with intense self-loathing during depressive episodes. This feeling is deep and consuming, making it incredibly hard to communicate with others. When self-loathing takes over, expressing your pain becomes a challenge because people tend to misinterpret your behaviour. In the depths of depression, your actions and words might come…
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Gaslighting.
Gaslighting is among the most detrimental actions one can inflict upon another, often driving the victim to the brink of madness. I firmly believe that my mental health would be significantly different if I had recognised the prolonged gaslighting I endured. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until recently that I understood what gaslighting was. Despite my efforts…
Bipolar Mum Journey 