Bipolar Mum Journey

“Everything happens for a reason.” We hear that saying a lot, but… Oh My Life, did I roll with that expression today.

It’s springtime and the carboots are in full swing. My youngest son and I marched down to a stall away from his siblings. I crouched down to look at an item, totally misjudged my footing on the vertical hill and – in what I can only describe as an eternity, I started to fall backwards.

I just had to give in to the fall because there was absolutely no stopping myself. I must’ve been laid on my back for around five seconds, which genuinely felt like five hours -before I could swing my legs up in the air to try and get back to my feet.

In the process, I accidentally kicked my 8-year-old son in the balls. So not only was he bent over in hysterics, he was also clutching his balls in agony.

I shouted, “Help me get up then!”

Through tears of laughter he shouted back, “I can’t, you’ve kicked me in the balls!”

I finally managed to get up and we walked off in absolute hysterics. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t briefly and mildly embarrassed. I mean… it could only happen to me.

How do you spot a Bipolar Mum at a carboot? Well, she’s the one lying flat on the ground because she’s a bit ditsy, a bit chaotic, and has somehow created chaos at the stall too.

My partner and two older children completely missed the whole ordeal. We carried on around the carboot and the kids got a great haul. On the way back to the car, my son and I broke out into further hysterics while he reenacted the whole scenario in the middle of the car park for the rest of the family. We laughed the whole way home… and then some.

We went upstairs to place his thrifted talking Darth Vader Funko Pop into his collection and laughed even more.

Afterwards, I had a little time to reflect and I just thought… I’m so happy he has that memory. Just like I have one of my grandma falling over in Blackpool – one of the memories from one of her good days.

Having Bipolar means we’re at a higher risk of suicide. As you all know, suicide also runs in my family. Without bringing the mood down too much, I don’t have enough good memories from growing up.

That’s why I do my very best to spend every moment I can with my kids, doing the things they love. We’ve spent so much money over the years on events, kids’ raves and concerts, but honestly? It’s the cheap or free days that end up being the best. The moments nobody expects -like falling flat on your back at a carboot.

I may be a Mum with Bipolar, but by God have my kids got some memories.

So yes, “everything does happen for a reason.” It’s either a lesson or a blessing, and we have to keep looking at life that way so we don’t get weighed down by things.

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