Bipolar Mum Journey

It’s World Bipolar Day again, yet conversations about hypersexuality remain scarce. What sets it off? Is it rooted in Bipolar Disorder itself? Is it the result of repeated trauma, such as sexual assault and rape? Or are some of us simply predisposed to it, like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off? Maybe it’s a reaction to years of mistreatment and an attempt to reclaim control. The reasons vary, but one thing remains clear: we must take responsibility for our actions. I’ve been guilty of blaming others, convincing myself that if I had been treated better, I wouldn’t have made certain choices. But the reality is, would I have made them anyway. No excuse justifies betrayal. If you’re unhappy in a relationship, you leave (if that’s even possible).

For a long time, I had no interest in sex. After everything I had endured, the idea of being intimate was overwhelming. In my late teens and early twenties, I needed alcohol just to get through it. Sober sex felt unnatural, I was too tense, too on edge.

Then, in my mid-twenties, something changed. Almost overnight, it was like a switch had flipped. The compulsion took over, controlling my decisions. I craved the thrill, the secrecy. There was no logical thought process, no regard for the potential fallout. I also mistook attention for respect, and it took me a long time to realise the difference. Once the episode passed, I was left with nothing but guilt and shame feelings that quickly spiraled into self-hatred.

For men experiencing hypersexuality in Bipolar Disorder, the response often manifests in excessive porn consumption or compulsive masturbation, both of which can become problematic. This behavior fuels feelings of shame and can lead their partners to question their own worth, believing they aren’t attractive or desirable enough. It’s crucial to communicate that this has nothing to do with them, it’s simply a way to satisfy an overpowering urge. It’s a visual that’s it, conversation is key.

So how do you manage hypersexuality? Medication has played a major role in helping me. Establishing firm boundaries is also essential, learning to recognise the difference between attention and genuine respect. For me, this has been the most challenging symptom of bipolar disorder. It’s exhilarating in the moment but fleeting, leaving nothing behind but emptiness and regret. It takes a toll on your soul.